Holidays

[Speedo]

I'm supposed to be going in June.

[PFT]

That's Barcelona off a list of places I'd like to visit then!

[Somebodys pinched my sombrero]

I'm supposed to be going in June.

Tbh mate, I think we were just really unlucky. I know loads of folk who've been and had no bother. As COT said though, there should be something done about it. They just turn a blind eye to it.

Just be careful and keep your eyes peeled. If a bloke comes up to you and ask you anything, just hit the Cronut and ask questions later.

[Micky Quim]

Ive been to Barca twice and enjoyed it both times. I had heard about pick pockets and hookers but saw none of it myself.

I hope that old bird used a doggy doo bag

[Donkey Toon]

Spanish bastards. Went to Barcelona last week, got there at ten, threw the cases in and headed for the Ramblas which is the Main Street in the city centre. After two hundred yards of walking, this Cronut came up to me asking for fags, where you from etc. Then he got hold of my hand and said "let's Salsa" I said no then I felt his hand go to my back pocket, so I got hold of him and pushed him away. This is on a busy street! Anyhow, a minutes walk down the road he tried to do the same. I cocked a punch at him and he f***ed off. Had summat to eat, then on the way back, six (that is an honest conservative estimate) split me and the Mrs. up and had another go. They split us up very cleverly, the Mrs made that much noise and attracted attention they stopped. Not one f***ing person came to help us. A bloke came up as we walked away and apologised and said not everyone in Barcelona is like that. Twats.

Later on the break, we saw an old woman have a s*** up against a tree on the Ramblas and wiped her arse with her hand. Gangs of tramps and thieves everywhere. On the beach there's a nudist bit right next to where young kids walk and they can see. f***ing perverts. A Chinese lass had her phone taken off her outside our hotel, they didn't want to call the police. The coppers know what goes on and do sod all about it. I certainly won't be going back, not that that will affect the Spanish economy. We weren't scared really, just absolutely appalled that this goes on and every Cronut turns a blind eye.

Beautiful city, but they can shove it up their arse. The Spanish bastards.

Yeah the Ramblas is rife with crime. I did a citizens arrest there. Was sat in the Subway there (sandwich shop not transport), the one with the internet cafe attached. Some bloke came in pretending to try and sell a disposable camera but was actually trying to distract people whilst grabbing their bags and shoving them in a bag of his own (all taking place under the table). He made a go for mine but i was suspicious and had put my leg through the shoulder strap so when he tried to grab it my leg stopped him. I got in his face and told him to f*** off and he did. But he just went to the next table and tried the same thing with someone else. I approached him again and he moved off into the internet cafe, so I went to tell the staff of the subway what was going on. By the time I had managed to communicate (i don't speak Spanish and their English wasn't much better) there were shouts from the internet cafe and this bloke ran out into the subway making for the doors with a wallet in his hand. I rugby tackled him and threw him up against the wall and moments later the bloke who had been robbed piled in as well and we held him til the police arrived. f***er was spitting at me and threatening to cut my throat the whole time.

Felt good to nail the bastard although I ended up spending about four hours at the police station giving statements etc.

[Somebodys pinched my sombrero]

Well done Donkey.

[Duke]

scumbags.

[overseasTOON]

I had trouble once in Barcelona with a pickpocket who stole me mates wallet.

I saw him out of the corner of my eye looking all shifty and Spanish like so I followed him, casual like cause I didn't want to calll attention to meself, to his gaff and then I waited until the dead of night before breaking in and handcuffing him and his family to the kitchen radiator, turning on the gas on the hob and rigging the doorbell to spark when it were rung.

I then rang up a pizza place and asked them if they spoke English but they said they didn't so I asked them of they knew a pizza place what spoke English and they told me they did and I asked thrm if they knew if the place would deliver to the pickpockets address but the pizza guy who didn't speak English told me that they probably wouldn't deliver that far and if I really wanted a place that spoke English and deliver he knew a Falafel place nearby that would be worth a shot.

Long story short anyhow, this late night Polish bakery what does deliveries was more than happy to pick up a pizza from the pizza place what spoke English and take it to the Spanish pickpockets gaff and BOOM!

Spanish t*** aint gonna pick any ****in pockets now.

[Duke]

[Donkey Toon]

I had trouble once in Barcelona with a pickpocket who stole me mates wallet.

I saw him out of the corner of my eye looking all shifty and Spanish like so I followed him, casual like cause I didn't want to calll attention to meself, to his gaff and then I waited until the dead of night before breaking in and handcuffing him and his family to the kitchen radiator, turning on the gas on the hob and rigging the doorbell to spark when it were rung.

I then rang up a pizza place and asked them if they spoke English but they said they didn't so I asked them of they knew a pizza place what spoke English and they told me they did and I asked thrm if they knew if the place would deliver to the pickpockets address but the pizza guy who didn't speak English told me that they probably wouldn't deliver that far and if I really wanted a place that spoke English and deliver he knew a Falafel place nearby that would be worth a shot.

Long story short anyhow, this late night Polish bakery what does deliveries was more than happy to pick up a pizza from the pizza place what spoke English and take it to the Spanish pickpockets gaff and BOOM!

Spanish t*** aint gonna pick any ****in pockets now.

More plausible than my story as well.

[Micky Quim]

I saw him out of the corner of my eye looking all shifty and Spanish like so I followed him

My favourite bit

[Duke]

I saw him out of the corner of my eye looking all shifty and Spanish like so I followed him

My favourite bit

Same

[Donkey Toon]

And mine

[bodacious benny]

Although I've been to Barcelona and it was absolutely fine.

[biggeordiedave]

Booked my holiday to Florence Flying from Newcastle to Pisa, having a night in Pisa, 5 nights in Florence and then back to Pisa for a night before we fly home .

[Micky Quim]

Im going to book a trip to Rome for my missus 40th soon

[bodacious benny]

Im going to book a trip to Rome for my missus 40th soon

f*** loads of pick pockets in Rome

[PFT]

Im going to book a trip to Rome for my missus 40th soon

**** loads of pick pockets in Rome

He doesn't need to worry , the stench of s*** will mean they steer well clear of him.

[Guest]

**** loads of pick pockets in Rome <laugh>

He doesn't need to worry , the stench of s*** will mean they steer well clear of him.

I'll fite them like Duke fuelled on Peroni

[Micky Quim]

**** loads of pick pockets in Rome

He doesn't need to worry , the stench of s*** will mean they steer well clear of him.

I'll fight them like Duke fuelled on Peroni