ToonForum - Newcastle United Forum

Surely we have had a s*** towns thread on here? LiDL makes MK sound like a couple of the postwar towns near me i.e. Harlow and Stevenage.

Iron Mikes Tiny Eyes wrote:

Juliet Papa Golf wrote:
What did you find so bad about it?

There's some pretty ridiculous reactions to MK on here

I went to uni in Northampton which is near by - sterile is the word I'd use to sum up Mk.

Bodacious Benny wrote:

Iron Mikes Tiny Eyes wrote:
There's some pretty ridiculous reactions to MK on here

I went to uni in Northampton which is near by - sterile is the word I'd use to sum up Mk.

I'm from Northampton

Actually yeah Stevenage is pretty crap too. England's got it's fair share of faceless business cities. Shout out to Basingstoke as yet another Had to go past it everytime I got the train from Uni to Southampton to get the plane home and it just looked so gloomy and dull.

Stevenage allegedly inspired the poem Evidently Chickentown by John Cooper Clarke.

Christ. Fair enough. At least Milton Keynes only inspires people to suicide.

Basildon

There were several major plans to basically transform Newcastle into a faceless car-centric city around the same time that a third of the city centre was smashed to pieces to make way for Eldon Square mall. The old Haymarket metro station which was replaced a few years ago was actually built as a pillar to support a motorway which was going to soar right through the middle of town . What's more, large chunks of the quayside area around Side and Dean Street were going to be treated to some beautiful examples of modern architecture, the roads expanded and a gigantic concrete pedestrian walkway stilted above. Parts of the started walkway are still standing in the city as well:

I've used that staircase from the quayside and I'm sure it must end up in f***ing Berwick or something.

biggeordiedave wrote:Basildon

The only place I've been to which makes me think Luton isn't all that bad.

I had one of the best f***s of my life in Basildon.

I chatted her up with the simple opening line of, "Hi. I don't live in Basildon. Fancy escaping this shithole with me?"

Honourable mention for Preston too. What a f***ing dump that place is, but oddly enough home to one of my favourite pubs.

biggeordiedave wrote:Honourable mention for Preston too. What a f***ing dump that place is, but oddly enough home to one of my favourite pubs.

Only ever properly been into Preston city centre once.

I got dumped.

f*** that place.

biggeordiedave wrote:Honourable mention for Preston too. What a f***ing douche that guy is, but oddly enough singer in one of my favourite bands.

How has England managed to get so many dismal cities? Even some of the ones with historic city centres aren't particularly interesting - looking at you Guildford.

LiDL wrote:How has England managed to get so many dismal cities? Even some of the ones with historic city centres aren't particularly interesting - looking at you Guildford.

Because architecture was basically put in the hands of local civil servants after the war, and the country went full force into the year-zero style modernist programme with the cheapest possible materials. Look at places like Gloucester or Oxford; famously handsome towns which are now loaded with eyesores in about equal measure. Historic cities that were **** by Baedeker raids saw their bombsites filled with quick, cheap and ugly instead of like-for-like replacement (such as happened in some instances in London).

Also, every non-time-immemorial city north of, say, Warwick basically came into existence for the sake of the industrial revolution. They weren't invented for any aesthetic purposes, but entirely for practical. Any handsomeness is thanks to local industrialists wanting to carve out some patches of beauty in their gigantic slum-city.

It's not all grim though. There's still some cities with minimal damage like major roads through the centre, giant car parks, ugly ass office blocks etc. Places like Bath, Durham, Truro, Chester, York, Norwich, Cambridge etc. are lovely. Plus England has f***ing loads of gorgeous small towns.

Small towns and historic cities are in abundance.

But it's perfectly understandable why at the time, the authorities developed the way they did post-war or through the industrial revolution. Of course we can look back now and think wtf or find it distasteful, but it made sense and was practical as well as what was needed at the time.

Yeah it definitely was necessary to house the homeless and move the poor out of Victorian slums etc. It's both useful and a shame that the International Style was in vogue at the time. Useful because it meant cheap materials, mass-people storage and zero ornamentation, and a shame for exactly the same reasons.

About the planning of Milton Keynes.

http://player.bfi.org.uk/film/watch-mil ... ign=buffer" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Did not really pan out...

There's some f***ing pearls in that video. "It's essentially about people." No it's not. "We're concerned about beautiful buildings." No you weren't. "The existing market town has character, and will not be changed. But it will be rejuvenated!" Aye.

Then it closes with him saying Milton Keynes is the most exciting thing happening in the world. For context, this is the year that saw the release of Dark Side of the Moon, the Watergate hearings, the completion of Sears Tower and Sydney Opera House, the launch of Skylab 4, the Yom-Kippur War, the death of Bruce Lee and Picasso, and the assassination of Salvador Allende. Milton Keynes wasn't even the most exciting thing happening in Milton Keynes.