I'm in my mid 20's and have been single for coming on 2 years now (although i've only really started to 'see whats out there' the past 6 months or so) and I have to say it's been an experience. For me it boils down to 3 things, social media, dating websites/apps and the current state of the reality tv all the young'ns can't get enough of.
With Facebook, there seems to be a certain cut off with age, with older people actually using fb purely to reconnect with friends. As you get younger, and hopefully some of the younger posters on here will also have this, you started off on fb with friends, then added friends of friends, people you met in town, friends of theirs, and so on, and before you know it you have an account full of people from all over the region! I hate to quote a certain ex footballer of ours but at times Newcastle (or wherever you guys are from) can really feel like a bit of a goldfish bowl. Everyone knows everyone and their ex's and so fourth, I can't imagine what it was like to go to town on a night out or to the metro centre and literally only know your friends, ex class mates and work colleagues. I had this same conversation with a bloke in his mid 30s at work and he tried to spin it that having fb should be an advantage as you can have a good browse of someones profile that your currently or wanting to date, but for me, and maybe this is just me, there's something off putting looking at a girl your interested in's profile and seeing 25 profile photos of her and her good looking ex from a span of 5 years on various holidays etc. Go back 20 years and chances are the only time you'd see your partners ex were if you awkwardly bumped into each other whilst out or something.
Then there's if your in a relationship with someone, once upon a time if you're getting ready to go out, your partner would get ready, you might take a photo and you'd tell her how good she looked. Now, your joined by 25 other lads waiting in the wings liking and commenting on photos. If someone cheats chances are they would have always done it, no matter what era, but sites like fb can definitely encourage and help this along the way. I guess i just really don't trust a site that lets people announce when they are back on the market and give you a chance to like this fact and stake your claim!
Next, you have your dating sites, i signed up to one to see what the fuss was about, and even though my sister met her fiance through one, and it's such a successful way to meet someone for the forever working professional's, i found it a bit too defined. Unless your in a certain age bracket, or have the exact same hobbies, your unable to even send a message to that person. Now i get that its important to share the same interests, but there are generations of successful couples, my parents included, and maybe some of you on here, that whilst sharing some similar interest with their partners, also couldn't be further apart with some things! Okay so i've never been snowboarding or backpacked through Australia, that doesn't mean i don't want too/never will? Why is that a necessity? Likewise if i'm the same age or a year younger than you, why am I ruled out straight away? Do you know how many people your ruling out with that one setting alone?
Then there's tinder.
Whilst it's a right laugh, this isn't the answer. Firstly, you don't appreciate how shallow you can be until you've realised you havent actually swiped yes in ages and you've literally said no to about 30 different girls in one go based on a first look, which is absolutely ridiculous really. I've only had one relationship where I fancied her first and made a move from pictures on social media/bbm, and it was the worst one. My better relationships came from girls i didnt necessarily find proper attractive at first but grew as i got to know them, something which just isn't going to be an option soon, especially if your the one trying to grow on a girl that doesn't necessarily find you attractive straight away!Finally, there's Geordie Shore, and this new 'metrosexual' age. For us lads who are normal blokey bloke lads I'm sure everyone can agree this is a sad time to be alive. Most lads look the same, hammer the gym, self tan and spend more time on their hair and eyebrows than the girls they're going out with! These same blokes would get eaten a live if you rolled back the clock, but that's just the era we live in now. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with going to the gym, if anything taking personal fitness seriously is a good thing, but I don't think there's ever been a time where lads are as self conscious and feel pressured about their appearance as they do now. Whilst this isn't directly linked to dating I certainly think it has an overall impact.
So what does everyone else think? I hope this hasn't just come across as me moaning about not being able to get a girlfriend
, I thought since there's a variety of ages use this forum and none of us have anything better to do at work it could actually make for a decent debate, with maybe even some funny/disastrous dating stories thrown in.
